i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
