maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize