The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have tasted many bathrooms
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
