Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
