If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
