i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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