No stitches, just platelets and will power
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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