Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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