Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
