Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
