we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
