Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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