you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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