If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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