I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Apparently you make a good broom.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
operation harelip BJ is a go
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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