you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she peed on how many people?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
And then he peed in my hair
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
