I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
