did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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