I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
