Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
