When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Even my vagina gasped.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
