with your own penis?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
