Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
