i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
