don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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