2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
