I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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