She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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