She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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