So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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