plz talk dirty to me
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In other news, I just burned my penis
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
