I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
