I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
