im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
