I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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