grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
