booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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