i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
