Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Houston, we have a squirter
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
