that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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