youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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