I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
