i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize