Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
