you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize