you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
ok first of all what the fuck
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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