She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
