You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
