I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
