me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
His hands were made for my vagina.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
