Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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