You were right. It hurts to walk today.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize