I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
