I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
