id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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