You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
