No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
