hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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