Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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