Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
why is half of my head shaved?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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