That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
