I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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