sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
